Daily Mail readers are letting off steam on the paper’s message boards after it was announced that… wait for it… cyclists would be allowed to cycle both ways down one-way streets in order to shorten their journey time, and thus increase the appeal of cycling and reduce the inclination to illegally mount pavements.
“The lunacy just goes on and on and on ad infinitum. There will be more to come,” prophesises one reader.
“Why not go the whole hog and make them immune to all traffic laws and have done with it?” asks another reader before adding: “Many cyclists are utterly lawless…” yes, like pirates, Vikings and serial killers. When they’re not reducing carbon emissions by cycling to work I hear cyclists are invariably raping, pillaging and looting.
“Does that mean I'm allowed to run them over if they cycle at me in the middle of the road as I turn into a one-way street? Presumably the English courts would side with the cyclist and deem it the cars fault?” Yes, presumably those crazy courts would indeed side with the cyclist, given the suggestion there would be some intent and fore-thought with this act. It’s terribly unfair that whole murder law when the so-called victim is a cyclist.
“The shortest route for me on the way to work would be driving over some fields,” adds another Mail reader, to the surprise of nobody. “Maybe if I do this often enough Mr Moylan would have a road built for me..."
“I personally hate ALL cyclists... GET RID OF THEM,” writes frothy-mouthed loon Liz from Brussels, promoting some kind of mass genocide of anybody with a bicycle. As an avid - or possibly rabid - Mail reader, Liz has clearly moved to Brussels just to tell the city how much she hates it and all it stands for.
“Hope they like the taste of my bumper,” writes Alan from Warrington, another reader with apparent murderous intent and a +8 approval rating from other Mail readers. Way to go Alan, hope you kill a young mother first!
Another Alan writes: “I have been thinking this might be a good idea at least they might get spattered over the roads.” That would be brilliant... though presumably the job of cleaning up the human chum would be given to 'some ethnic'.
You get the picture.