The late August slumber of the annual silly season was broken yesterday by two stories fitting the nation's mood of reduced productivity. One story involved a celebrity baby, one was an animal yarn different from the smallest/biggest/fattest variety that generally abound (see exhibit A: giant rats).
The first story to make readers choke on their muesli was that of the birth of the Cameron’s fourth baby, a girl, during their holiday to Cornwall. Although it seems not everyone was happy with the news, as this rather po-faced comment on the Mirror website suggests:
"Congratulations to them. But I wonder, will their child be going hungry like other British children undoubtedly will after his welfare cuts. Probably not eh?"
The birth may signal the end to the procession of sugary photoshoots of David and SamCam, like the one on the Guardian site (above), but probably not in the Spectator. It may also see SamCam, as it seems most wives of political leaders, defined by something other than her clothes; then again probably not, as the Guardian, with tongue firmly in cheek, reported:
The Camerons ...looked happy and relaxed when they posed for an official photocall ...Wearing a yellow dress, a green cardigan and a battered old pair of sandals, Mrs Cameron's bump was clearly visible. Cameron, for the record, wore jeans and a dark blue open-necked shirt, and was captured looking solicitously at his wife's tummy.
A flurry of goo-goo photos is sure to follow, as well as a possible starring role for MiniCam on Webcameron. The race to guess the name of MiniCam, as noted in the Telegraph’s story David Cameron's baby could be Lucy, Daisy or Samantha, say bookies, is also well under way.
Of course the Camerons are free to choose any name they wish, be it Dweezil or Moon Unit. An early frontrunner on the @NewStatesman Twitter feed was ‘Margaret’ – perhaps the baby is not for turning? Dave did drop a hint when he announced the baby’s middle name may honour the county of her birth. Welcome then Margaret Ginsters Cameron.
The second ‘big’ story of the day can be filed under ‘Britain: nation of animal lovers’, with most papers and news sites carrying CCTV images of a woman knocking a cat into a bin. Most rational human beings – and Jan Moir – realise that animal cruelty is not something to be commended. At the very least it's a bad PR move given cats make up 48% of all web content (the remaining capacity is shared between porn, poker and the occasional useful site).
The race to identify the feline recycler narrowly edged the call for her to be punished. With hanging presumably too good for this type of person, demands for her to be killed; her bones ground into dust, put into a rocket and fired into the heart of the sun are as yet unsubstantiated.
To manage a repeat of yesterday’s news feat will take something astounding. If you have a press release it may be worth waiting a few days. Unless said press release contains a reference holiday favourites such as Jesus’ face appearing in foodstuffs, or an X-Factor scandal ...oh, hang on.