'Nobody gave ecstasy to disco kangaroo'

No, your eyes do not deceive you. The Irish Daily Star last week went big on a story that is unlikely to feature as a plot thread in Midsomer Murders anytime soon.

It's a story that that leaves us with so many questions; the first of which is how did we manage to miss this nugget, published on the 20th October?

The story goes that the man pictured (he's the one on the left) was presented with said kangaroo during a "packed birthday bash at a plush Dublin hotel." He's clearly a man with friends who know how to think outside the box when it comes to solving the problem of what to get the person who has everything.

Picture yourself at that plush Dublin hotel – a hotel that one can only assume has a dress code relaxed enough so as not to turn away marsupials – wouldn't there be a few questions going through your mind?

Where did you get a kangaroo at this hour ... in Dublin; why did you get a kangaroo at this hour?

In any case, the one thought unlikely to be going through your head, apart from 'I hope he doesn't already have one', is what would happen if I gave this kangaroo ecstasy?

The imbibing of said disco biscuit by said kangaroo appears unconfirmed. It would take an eye witness, who is also an expert in kangaroo behaviour (and possibly an expert in kangaroo disco behaviour, both clean and assisted) to get to the bottom of the claim.

Animal rights groups are less than impressed.

With so many unknowns and unanswered questions, let's just take the front page for what it is. Look at that headline – it's like something you'd come up with if you were playing consequences. Look at the caption: "party animal". Extra points also go to the Star for the juxtaposition of the Wayne Rooney story (Roo - geddit?).

Tabloid gold, it is certainly a story with a long tail.

The original screenshot can be seen on Kiosko.net - a visual daily press directory that gives access to the world's largest news sites and displays a readable image taken from the frontpage of each newspaper.

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[ejh]

If you can locate mandolin strings in the middle of Austin...