Have you ever wanted to read Sky News presenter Kay Burley describing the "intense gratification" of cunnilingus?
No of course you haven't.
So why, in the name of all that's holy would Burley ever think this scene, described in her first novel - called First Ladies - was a good idea?
"At that exact moment, Julian was expertly using his silver tongue to offer intense gratification to Sally as he held on firmly to her taut, tanned thighs, tightly gripped around his handsome face. Lithe and muscular, he effortlessly lifted her from the bed and onto his broad shoulders. Sally felt all the excitement and exhilaration of a fairground ride as he continued to offer intense pleasure before she was finally sated and he lowered her gently back onto the round bed."
Anyway, enough of this sexy talk. I'm off to sandpaper my eyes.
And that pool of sick won't clean itself up.
Meanwhile, First Ladies is out soon but can be pre-ordered on Amazon where it has already been slashed to just £5.99 - should you be stuck for a birthday present for somebody you really hate.
(Hat tip Guardian's Media Monkey.)
It gets worse. "Julian" is a stand-in for Tony Blair. You know, in case that sex scene wasn't quite horrifying enough...
Posted by: Atomic Spin | Mar 28, 2011 at 22:52
It reads like a strong contender for the Literary Review's bad Sex prize.
Posted by: Richard T | Mar 29, 2011 at 08:47
not only is julian a thinly veiled blair, sally is supposedly rebekah wade...
Posted by: Cat | Mar 29, 2011 at 13:48
When used in a sexual context the phrase "silver tongue" is especially unpleasant (I say this as a man, maybe the ladies love the idea)
Posted by: Tom A | Apr 06, 2011 at 10:56
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT !!!
You are just encouraging her ! Don't you fools understand that there is 'No such thing as bad publicity'..?
Far more deterring people from buying this, it is bringing to an ever-wider pool of public attention.
Many of whom will be buying it from sheer idle curiosity, or thinking that "It's so bad, it must be good..".
If you don't stop this, the danger is that Kay B will end up as the next Jilly Cooper or Jackie Collins and end up rich beyond her wildest dreams.
There is still time to stop Kay escaping into the wild 'Fukoshima radiation' style - but not for much longer..
Posted by: Bedd Gelert | Apr 09, 2011 at 16:42
I wonder if I want to buy this novel. May be I can compell my friend to buy it, then I can borrow it.
Posted by: Wireless Pointer | Jul 28, 2011 at 11:00