No of course you haven't.
So why, in the name of all that's holy would Burley ever think this scene, described in her first novel - called First Ladies - was a good idea?
"At that exact moment, Julian was expertly using his silver tongue to offer intense gratification to Sally as he held on firmly to her taut, tanned thighs, tightly gripped around his handsome face. Lithe and muscular, he effortlessly lifted her from the bed and onto his broad shoulders. Sally felt all the excitement and exhilaration of a fairground ride as he continued to offer intense pleasure before she was finally sated and he lowered her gently back onto the round bed."
Anyway, enough of this sexy talk. I'm off to sandpaper my eyes.
And that pool of sick won't clean itself up.
Meanwhile, First Ladies is out soon but can be pre-ordered on Amazon where it has already been slashed to just £5.99 - should you be stuck for a birthday present for somebody you really hate.
(Hat tip Guardian's Media Monkey.)