The Media Blog

Having a Mair? A mixed week for Boris

London Mayor Boris Johnson has had a mixed week. On Sunday he was subjected to a pretty brutal interview by Eddie Mair on BBC1 in which it was put to him he is "a nasty piece of work", based on selected highlights from a BBC2 documentary the following evening.

But by the time the BBC2 show came around it became clear it was actually little more than a shameless puff piece for Johnson.

Some Mair on Mayor action on Sunday. (Credit: BBC)

Sure, it contained a review of past scandals: Johnson's lies and affairs. But these weren't presented in order to skewer Boris. It was done in order to get it all out in the open once and for all. This was Boris - on his terms - getting some tricky questions out of the way in order to clear a path to the Tory party leadership.

But just as Boris and his PR team must have been patting themselves on the back for a job well done, his old friend Darius Guppy, a convicted fraudster has leapt to Johnson's defence writing for The Spectator - the magazine Johnson once edited.

Guppy began by addressing Mair's criticism of Johnson for being sacked from an early journalism job at The Times for making up a quote:

"Eddie Mair has more front than Harrods. Consider this: a member of the British Media, Mr Mair, berates another former such member, Boris Johnson, for making up quotes! What planet are you living on, Mr Mair? Making things up is what people in your profession do for a living!"

File this next one under 'With friends like this...'

"Next, Mr Johnson, a politician, is criticised for lying to another politician... That's what politicians do ...And they fiddle their expenses and they pervert the course of justice and they commit perjury..."

"Tell me, Mr Mair, which do you think will cause Mr Johnson the greater difficulty on the Day of Judgement: making up some quotes as a journalist or the ritual humiliation of his wife and children?"

"But should being 'a nasty piece of work', as Mr Mair put it, preclude Mr Johnson from high office?"

It's a good question, but possibly one Boris would prefer his friends weren't asking.

A toilet press release...

A hopelessly optimistic press release doing the rounds of editorial inboxes today with all the likely success of a door-to-door punch in the face salesman, carries the cheery subject line:

Dangers for Elderly Revealed As Queen Spends Time on "Throne" With Tummy Bug

That's right. They have pounced upon the breaking news that the Queen had a tummy bug nearly a week ago. 

Clearly the delay owed something to checking the Queen was alright before trying to score some cheap coverage on the back of her runny tummy. But either way, surely the window of opportunity has been wafted a few times and firmly closed some days ago.  

The release even admits that it is behind the times:

"It emerged earlier this week that Her Majesty the Queen was admitted to London's King Edward VII's hospital on Sunday, as a precautionary measure, and was assessed for symptoms of gastroenteritis.

"Commonly, this condition of the stomach causes the unfortunate sufferer to spend a lot of time on the "throne"."

Throne. Because she's the Queen. See what they did there. 

We can only assume the people behind this release - who I can't quite bring myself to name - having laughed about it to themselves for the best part of a week thought their clever word play and belated opportunism would result in a barrage of publicity for their business.

And what line of business are they in?

Bathrooms.

Because if you're going to be spending a lot of time on the toilet you want to make sure your bathroom is a safe and pleasant place to hang out.

The release quotes a man calling himself a "bathroom expert": 

"Tummy bugs afflict us all but the older you are the more debilitating this illness is. Apparently women of the Queens [sic] age are more susceptible to falling down in the bathroom and in fact 1 in 5 women actually require hospital treatment for fractures, most commonly the hip."

It goes on...

"It's worth checking out the bathroom of any elderly person..."

Whatever floats your boat.

"We all want to live independently in our own homes for as long as possible but we have to be more aware of the dangers of falling in small spaces."

Having tried to scare old people into paying for a new bathroom with a veiled threat about being put into a home, the release goes on to promote a new online bathroom design tool.

"The Queen herself could use the online system and I'm sure she'd be delighted with the makeover she'd receive" he said.

Presumably once she'd got over the initial shock of a company exploiting her loose bowels for marketing purposes.

What next, Andrex asking whether The Queen scrunches or folds?

The Mail doubles up on 'Blue Monday'

Today's Daily Mail reports:

Which is odd. Because last Monday's Daily Mail reported:

Every January we hear about 'Blue Monday' and how it is "the most depressing day of the year".

Now it seems we're getting two of them.

It all stems from a press release, written eight years ago to sell more holidays, for which a 'scientific formula' was created that showed the Monday during the last full week of January was the most depressing day of the year. 

It has since gone into newslore and remains a popular and effective PR 'news hook' to this day.

Last week's Daily Mail story was trying to sell us windows:

"A new study suggests say there may be a simple way of combating 'Blue Monday' - sit by a window… Melanie McDonald, of Anglian Home Improvements, which commissioned the study, said: "The survey shows a clear link between natural daylight, mood and motivation."

This week's 'Blue Monday' story in the Daily Mail was based on exactly the same research from Anglian Home Improvements.

Now, if anything tells us how arbitrary this day really is it's the fact the same newspaper can't seem to decide from one week to the next which day it should fall on and doesn't remember running exactly the same story the previous week.

Royal Baby: Seven more months of filler?

Have you heard, Kate Middleton is pregnant?

Of course you have. Beyond that, there's not really much to report on this story. She's a bit poorly with it, but that's not really any of our business.

Yet the media has managed to milk thousands of column inches out of the story already - from detailed information about morning sickness to informing readers what it means for the order of succession and the baby's likely impact on the UK economy. 

But once the newsdesks hit the bottom of the barrel they didn't stop scraping there - from speculating that it might be twins to speculating what the name might be to speculating what impact Kate's choice of pram will have on global buggy sales.

And that's far from the worst of it.

The Telegraph has set its stall out early as the go-to place for royal baby stories you can't quite believe anybody had to write.

Spare a thought for The Telegraph's Chief Reporter Gordon Rayner who has already written stories such as Bookies slash odds on twins, Could it be twins for Kate? and Duke faces big career decisions. But his standout piece of filler so far has been this effort:

In this article, Rayner, who was part of the Telegraph's award winning investigations team that blew open the expenses scandal, writes:

"From the shape of a mother's baby bump to food cravings during pregnancy, the supposed tell-tale signs of a baby's sex have been debated for thousands of years. 

"But according to cold statistical analysis, the Duchess of Cambridge is most likely to give birth to a girl who will grow to be 5ft 10ins tall. Studies of mothers' dietary habits, health during pregnancy and the father's occupation all suggest the odds are on the Duchess giving birth to a princess."

How long before Raynor is reporting on what the cloud formations above Buckingham Palace might tell us about the unborn child?

But he's not alone in having to fill acres of white space. The Guardian has also been at it with this unlikely hard-luck story:

 

The Guardian reports:

"Moving house with a newborn, as many a parent knows, is not ideal, but it could be the prospect facing the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. The couple are due to take up residence in a refurbished Apartment 1a at Kensington Palace next summer – around the same time the duchess is expecting to produce a future king or queen."

It's hard to imagine that tale of hardship striking much of a chord with anybody else who has had to move house with a young child in tow. 

The tabloids aren't to be outdone. It looks like the Daily Mail is willing not only to report its own thoughts and opinions on the royal baby but to also tell us every time anybody else offers a thought about it... even if you don't know who that person is (Snooki? Answers on a postcard):

Presumably the "(yes really)" incredulity was meant as a private joke between the sub-editor and the journalist who wrote this story.

(I say 'story' but you know what I mean.) 

However, leading the way so far in the Royal Baby Filler Stakes, is this effort from The Mirror:

That's right, the royal baby might live to be 87. 

There are seven more months of this to come.

Week news: Let's call it a day

In case you missed the news, this week is National Cupcake Week. That's right, apparently the UK has an entire week when we remember all the brave souls who have brought us cupcakes over the years and who fought to defend our right to eat cupcakes.

This whole week has been claimed by British Baker magazine to focus the minds of the British public and media on the cupcake and its role in society.

Over time more and more of these kinds of contrived days have crept into the diary, put there by the subtle and sometimes not so subtle hand of public relations.

Of course, very worthwhile causes have introduced days to raise awareness and provide a news hook for fundraising efforts. But over time, organisations have chanced their arm with a series of ever more self-serving national days in an attempt to get onto the editorial calendars of the media. 

Among some of the most enthusiastic people to use this tactic over the years have been the farmers and food producers of the UK. Cue British Cheese Week, British Egg Week, National Chip Week, National Sausage Week, British Pie Week, National Bread Week, British Tomato Week and English Wine Week.

As Guardian journalist Nick Davies noted in his oft-quoted book Flat Earth News:

"...all kinds of groups now use PR to claim named days or weeks as their own. The first seven days of August 2007, for example, had at least forty-eight different PR causes attached to them in the United States, including National Watermelon Day, National Chocolate Chip Day, National Fresh Breath Day, National Icecream Sandwich Day... Having claimed the day, PR can use it as a peg for artificial news." 

Media coverage of National Cupcake Week has been low, though what little coverage there has been has certainly taken the bait. The Liverpool Echo wrote: "As we approach National Cupcake Week..." as though it really is 'a thing'.

Establishing such as day is no more difficult than picking a date and sending out a press release. Starting a Facebook campaign or a petition calling for the day to be recognised often serves as a handy pre-story and makes it look like somebody might really care, but it's not essential. There is certainly nobody in the government or the Privy Council weighing up the merits of National Biscuit Day versus National Dried Fruit Awareness Week. There is no quota. Sadly.

Puppy Farms

As a result, this tactic, as Davies noted as early as 2007, is starting to asphyxiate itself under the sheer weight of national days and weeks. A tactic which once was quirky is now killing itself.

The calendar is now so full of national days, weeks and even months that even reasonably worthwhile causes get lost in the flood of people trying to hijack the news diary in this way. Nobody would claim puppy farms are a good thing, but any value Puppy Farm Awareness Day may ever have had has surely been lost.

The same could be said of Global Handwashing Day. Nobody doubts handwashing is important but does it really warrant a national day? And now it's got one, does anybody really care?

And what about National Pain Awareness Month? Pain is bad, we can probably all agree on that but it's something the vast majority of us are very aware of all year round as occasion dictates.

Then there is the real nonsense: Star Wars Day, World Goth Day and International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Why are people celebrating talking like a pirate? I don't know, they just arrrrrrrr!

But at least these days are having some fun (with the possible exception of the goths) and are poking fun at the whole nonsense of such contrived days.

Perhaps I'll declare next week 'Read a Blog About The Media Week'.

'Essex Lion' press release should be shot on sight

Do you want to see a press release that will make your toes curl? In fact, do you want to see a press release which has single-handedly bludgeoned both humour and wit to death while choking the life out of irony and dancing an uncomfortable jig on the graves of anybody who has ever used the English language in a worthwhile manner?

You do? OK then, try this from Illicit Encounters which bills itself as "the UK's largest married dating site... a discreet and confidential extra marital affairs dating service for women and men".

So, you're already expecting something pretty classy from these guys, right? Well hold on to your hats, because you're about to be disappointed:

Forget the lion there are over 1000 Cougars loose in Essex.

With the sightings of a Big Cat in Essex hitting the headlines, Illicit Encounters has offered up its own explanation of the large cat sighting, claiming that it may have actually been a Cougar. They are of course referring to the slang term of a woman who seeks encounters with younger men. A quick search of the website reveals that it has over 1000 "Cougars" registered in the Essex area alone.

At this point, you're probably still recoiling slightly, possibly fighting the temptation to do a bit of sick in your mouth and deleting all of your email accounts lest anything like this ever finds its way into your own inbox... but there's more, starting with this non-sequitur:

"Illicit Encounters spokesperson Mike Taylor said "Whilst the Essex lion will most likely turn out to be just a domestic cat, Illicit Encounters offers an online environment for married people who find there domestic lives are missing the spark and excitement."

Now, this is far from the worst thing about this press release, in fact it's not even in the top 80, but the fact they use 'there' when they mean 'their' still stings a bit.

"You also won't need two police helicopters, zoo experts and armed police to find yourself a cougar on the site and it will be considerably cheeper than the rumoured £25,000 cost of the Essex Lion hunt."

It really comes to something when the awful spelling of the word "cheeper" is actually the best thing about a sentence. Let alone an entire press release.

We should probably just be grateful they didn't use the words "pussy hunt". Yet.

Oddbins takes on Olympic brand police

Bottle shop Oddbins has added its name to the list of businesses findings creative ways to cash-in on not being able to cash-in on the Olympics. 

The company has announced a cheeky 30% discount scheme for Pepsi-drinking, Nike-wearing, KFC-eating, iPhone-using, Mastercard-toting, Vauxhall-driving, British Gas-buying drinkers (which may not be that many people... but let's not worry about that).

The company has deliberately picked the closest competitors of all the major Olympic sponsors to highlight what it is calling LOCOG's iniquitous "cabal".

You can read more about this story here.

Olympics watch: Seb Coe's words of Twitter wisdom

London Olympics boss Seb Coe recently shared the results of some research he's been conducting into the performance of athletes who tweet:

"I have found quite a close correlation between the number of tweets at competitive times and the level of under-performance. I have found a direct correlation between the amount of activity an athlete enters into on social media and their ultimate performance when it really matters..."

It shouldn't be underestimated how tricky that research must have been for Coe or even his team to conduct. There are a vast number of athletes on Twitter competing in an incredibly diverse array of sports. Then there is the very problematic issue of the relative newness of Twitter which has only seen one previous Olympic Games. Add to that other non-Twitter related factors such as ageing, performance of competitors, climactic conditions, altitude, ill-health and injury and it is clear Coe has tackled some not insignificant challenges.   

Clearly Coe is hoping to discourage athletes from tweeting during London 2012 out of concern for their performance.

There can't be any other reasons he'd want them to stop...

Irish gymnast Kieran Behan became the latest athlete to go onto Twitter today
to discuss transport arrangements at the Games.

This has nothing to do with the London Olympics...

One enterprising website called ThatBigEventInLondon.co.uk seems to think it has found a way around the strict commercial guidelines of an unnamed Big Event in London and is offering a range of 'reality check souvenir bags'...

If you buy all three it will set you back £45, which is just £5 more than a London 2012 £5 coin. Go figure.

Learn to speak LOCOG: When is a cut not a cut?

"I've cut your arm off!"
"No you haven't! You've merely tightened up my shoulder!"

 

When is a cut not a cut? Here's an explanation from LOCOG's director of communications today after it was suggested the opening ceremony of the London Olympics was being cut down:

"It is not actually being cut...What is actually happening is tightening up."

So what does the "tightening up" consist of?

"One small segment...has been cut and that is the bit with the stunt bikes."

 So it's definitely not been cut. They've just "tightened up" the bit with the stunt bikes.

And by "tightened up" they mean they've "cut" the bit with the stunt bikes.

So let's not have any more talk of cuts.

Does Boris have enough soundbites in his locker?

Seriously, that's your Mayor...? Boris Johnson takes centre stage as the Olympics hit a bump in the road on day one.

London Mayor Boris Johnson has been quizzed about the transport chaos seen on day one of Olympic athletes arriving in the capital. With members of the US team tweeting about a four hour coach journey and members of the Australian team reportedly forced to use Google maps to direct their coach driver it all sounded spookily similar to a scene from BBC mockumentary TwentyTwelve.

So how did Boris put a positive spin on the ensuing farce:

"Clearly they would have had even more of an opportunity to see even more of the city than they might otherwise have done."

It drew a laugh and briefly took the sting out of the story. But the next four weeks may prove a stiff test even for Boris's well-stocked arsenal of bravado, bluster, quips and one-liners.

O2 shows one way to deal with Twitter abuse

It's easy to imagine it's been a rough 24 hours for the O2 customer service team after hundreds of thousands of users were left without use of their mobile phones by a technical error. But it seems the team managing O2's twitter feed aren't letting the inevitable abuse get to them...

Top 10 Media Blog posts: July 2009 – July 2012

The Media Blog today turns three years old (hence all the childish humour and occasional tantrums). Over that time a lot of ground has been covered in more than 1,200 blog posts but it's some of the quirkier posts that have typically taken off with readers. That is certainly reflected in the 10 best-read posts from the past three years...

1. No!…no!…no!…no! That'll be the Liverpool Echo, with arguably one of the worst page layouts ever witnessed in the rich history of massively inappropriate headline, picture, caption and story clashes. 

2. The BBC wrestles with social media: You know that moment when you accidentally set your development website live, complete with insults about your readers? Yeah, that…

3. Daybreak viewers get easily confused: The fact Daybreak viewers get confused by ITV +1, to the point they contact the programme via Twitter to tell them their clock is wrong – every single day – has provided hours of amusement. It all started with this post.

4. The wrong Steve Jobs: There are so many spoof Twitter accounts, including a fake Steve Jobs who famously fooled the Daily Mail...

5. A Twitter riot: If the internet has always been good for one thing then it is surely 'blaming stuff on'. Last summer that meant the Daily Mail blaming the London riots on Twitter.

6. "A**e!": Some over-officious censorship at Virgin Media saw all sorts of words getting the asterisk treatment.

7. Newspapers clash off-the-ball: While England and Sweden battled it out on the pitch to decide who was marginally more qualified to get knocked out at the Quarter Final stage of Euro 2012, the two countries’ newspapers fought it out in a series of spoof front pages.

8. Well somebody had to say something: This open letter to the BBC was an attempt to restore some much needed perspective to the debate about the Corporation’s coverage of the Jubilee. Only one person on Twitter didn’t get the joke.

9. Penguins will make kids gay: Over the past three years the Daily Mail has provided more fodder for The Media Blog than any other newspaper, including some odd views on penguins.

10.  When captions attack: The BBC graphics team have given us a few laughs over the years, but this one will take some beating. 

Chloe Smith: Patron Saint of media trainers

Tory Treasury minister Chloe Smith has surely been installed this morning as the Patron Saint of Media Trainers after a brace of catastrophic interviews on TV last night flagged the dangers of sending somebody so poorly prepared onto live TV.

Smith, Economic Secretary to the Treasury, warmed up with an appearance on Channel 4 News where Krishnan Guru-Murthy gave her a shovel and the opportunity to start digging.

Warning: It is not comfortable viewing:

Incredibly, even after that Smith picked herself up off the canvass and headed to the BBC for round two with Jeremy Paxman (of all people). 

Warning: This is even worse than you're thinking it's going to be.

Fans of the BBC's political satire The Thick Of It are surely put in mind of Ben Swain's own Paxman moment:

Express 'exclusive' not that exclusive

As well as a tribute to the Queen from none other than Alan Titchmarsh - and a free pair of gardening gloves from the very same - today's Sunday Express leads with a front page "EXCLUSIVE" lifting the lid on why now is a good time for Brits to go on holiday - or rather why it's a good time to buy some euros due to a favourable exchange rate (a fact surely available to all journalists):

In its lead quote,the Express introduces us to David Swann from Travelex, who tells us:

"With the Easter peak over, now is a great time for Brits to grab a bargain in Europe."

The Express also tells us:

"Last night currency specialist Travelex reported that someone changing £500 into euros will get the equivalent of nearly £50 more in the single currency than this time last year."

But is this nice bit of PR for Travelex really "exclusive"?

Last Wednesday (18 April), the ThisIsMoney.co.uk website - owned by Associated Newspapers and part of the same family as the Express's rival, the Daily Mail - carried a very similar story, also quoting David Swann from Travelex:

"With the Easter peak over, now is a great time for Brits to grab a bargain in Europe."

The ThisIsMoney.co.uk story added:

"...if you exchanged £500 at currency exchange firm Travelex this week, you would have received €595... That is ...£50 more than you would have got at the same time last year."

Will Twitter spat Dent PR's career?

A graduate trainee at a London PR agency has guaranteed himself some shortlived notoriety and a brief stint in the Twitter hall of shame after he went online to hurl abuse at Guardian journalist Grace Dent: 

Why would Dent ask such a question of her abuser? Because, as Mufadel's rapidly evaporating luck would have it Dent was willing to use her media muscle to make life as difficult as possible for the self-confessed horse-botherer:

It's unclear if Dent actually has the power to fire PR people but it would certainly teach him a worthwhile lesson about not being so rude.

However, many on Twitter have been quick to point out that Dent is no stranger to firing random unsolicited abuse at a TV celebrity herself:

9:24am: I make that Pimms o'clock

Hats off to the people at Pimms whose giant deckchair construction on Bournemouth beach, timed to coincide with the media scrum to cover the first hot weekend of the year, is becoming the background of choice for news stories about Britain's beaches filling up with sunseekers this weekend. 

Of course, should anybody fancy a breakfast Pimms, the BBC managed to comment variously on the deckchair this morning without mentioning the company behind the stunt. But anybody intrigued to find out more doesn't have to search for long to discover Pimms' involvement. The PR stunt has been picked up widely.

Murdoch on Twitter: Who knew he cared...?

The arrival of a cardigan-wearing Rupert Murdoch on Twitter has caused quite a stir, with many people clamouring to see him slip up or spark controversy, as well as flagging the fact he followed a fake account.

There are plenty who, despite the account's "Verified" status and an apparent confirmation from within News International, still believe it is a hoax. It's certainly easy to see why. If genuine, it marks something of a turnaround for the tycoon. 

In 2009, Michael Wolff, Murdoch's biographer, writing for Vanity Fair, said:

"Murdoch can almost single-handedly take apart and re-assemble a complex printing press, but his digital-technology acumen and interest is practically zero. Murdoch's abiding love of newspapers has turned into a personal antipathy to the internet: for him it's a place for porn, thievery, and hackers." 

As opposed to tabloid newspapers of course which would never publish porn or employ any form of hacking.

Moving on, Wolff added:

"In 2005, not long after News Corp. bought MySpace... I congratulated [Murdoch] on the acquisition. "Now," he said, "we're in the stalking business."

Of course if Murdoch had known then what he says he didn't know then about the activities of some News International employees he might have picked any comments about "stalking" and "hacking" a little more carefully.

However, if Murdoch does want to "stalk" to any real effect he's going to have to follow more than the five people he follows at present.  

Perhaps it was a New Year's Resolution on the part of Murdoch and he's just finding out what all the fuss is about. Or possibly he's adopting a "...keep your enemies closer" strategy.

Must... have... Christmas... angle

The Telegraph's Harry Wallop has rightly taken issue today with this bizarre press release from the FSA which has woven a nativity angle into a comment about livestock feed:

The text reads:

Christmas cards, school plays, and church nativity scenes typically portray images of a manger surrounded by farm animals in the centre of a hay-strewn barn. But, while the religious message that has lasted two millennia continues to inspire Christians across the globe, the sheep and oxen (and their modern counterpart the cow) are no longer sustained on a diet of grass and hay.

PR stunt sleeps with the fishes

News reaches us from down under regarding a PR stunt which went tragically, predictably wrong, leaving recipients feeling perhaps as though they were on the receiving end of some kind of mafia threat.

After all, what you think if somebody sent you a dead fish in the post? 

That's what happened in Australia recently when a company called Adavantage SA sent out 55 live goldfish in bowls to media agencies. Sadly, upon arrival 50 of the fish had perished, prompting one recipient to comment: "We get a deluge of gifts this time of year, although not all smell quite as bad." 

Karen Raffen, CEO of Advantage SA, told local radio: "We offer our sincere apologies. There was absolutely no intention to cause distress or harm to the fish."